Everyone is an artist, this is not my art. | |
I'm about to not care anymore... I need an outlet. I need to get away from it all for a while. I need a refresh button. I can't find it though. I need to be exposed to something new. A different experience. I need a new point of view. I want to just break out and do something stupid without thinking of the consequences. If only the light is just right, then maybe i'll discover something beautiful and just revel in the view so when i get back to reality, everything will seem a bit easier.
"Just go with the flow, let's see what happens...." That's all I say. That's my motto, my rule but I just realized that it's only effective if and when nothing's on the line and if your brain still has half of its cells left. I didn't know that... 'till 'bout 30 mins. ago. Now I'm at a crossroad. There are so many things I can do 'bout this "glitch" this "surprise" but I can't seem to come up with a conclusion.... I guess I can always do the go-with-the-flow-and see-what-happens thing again but that that will only prove that I'm as dumb as a rock. Or I can pretend nothing happened. *asa!* I can also move to the moon and never go back... but i'd just miss pollution too much.
Anyway... Sorry for waisting 'bout 1 min. of your life... But if you're willing to share some wisdom or if you just feel like waisting more of your time, can you help me out here? I'm in deep shit. :)
Oh pano? Ingat!!
Little Boxes
Malvina Reynolds
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
Little boxes, little boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.
And the people in the houses
All go to the university,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.
And there's doctors and there's lawyers
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.
And they all play on the golf-course,
And drink their Martini dry,
And they all have pretty children,
And the children go to school.
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
And they all get put in boxes
And they all come out the same.
And the boys go into business,
And marry, and raise a family,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.
The plot is very simple. We are all of the same spirit which was never born or will ever end. We were thrown in this existence although some say we chose it. And to make it interesting, God gave us bodies to live in this material world. But when we came in, we started making judgements about everything. We started classifying people and things: rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, inferior, superior, deserving, strangers, friends, etc. And we believed our own labels until they began to control everything that we thought, believed, did, and valued. So when you feel that reality has gone crazy or that you're living a life that has been judged by everyone with labels you don't like, go back to the beginning of the plot. Go back to what was true before all the labels came in. It's the only thing permanent and therefore, the only real thing. Just keep reminding yourself how simple it really is.
There ARE some people who are really oblivious to how annoying they are.
There ARE some people who are really insecure and hide everything behind lip service.
There ARE some people who really think they're better than someone who is clearly out of their league.
There ARE some people who think they fit in...but in fact, they are square pegs trying to fit in a round hole.
You may NOT always like everyone around you...but they make you appreciate the people who really matter a bit more.
I learned a new song from my cousin, Krissy's multiply home page.
Brand New Colony - Postal Servie
I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold
Woke up at 1 AM. Dead tired but I can't sleep. I wrote an entry before this one thinking that I'd get bored and sleepy and not post it. Now I find myself writting another one. I tried to read other people's long ass blogs, funny ass blogs and bitter ass blogs and non-sense ass blogs *like this one* too. But still I'm wide awake... Listening to Morning View. *Thank you Brandon and the rest*
wala na ako malagay. BUSET! bye!
Did you? I'm sure as Christmas on December that YOU did. Did I? Well, maybe I did. You said I did. Couldn't take it? Well then I'm sorry... 'cos you can't, 'cos you dwell on it...
Every year, at around late December, after binging on all the food and booze, I always tell my self that the next year will be better, you know.... different. I always tell my self that I'll be more responsible and less childish and all that jazz. Well.... at around Feb or March, I find my self doing the exact same things I was doing the past year. So now, I won't list my Resolutions for the coming year 'cos there won't be any and it'll just be a load of cow pie and it'll just be like lying to myself. What I'm gonna do is just be myself and just go with the flow. It's not that I'm not trying to better myself, it's just that I don't like making promises and not be able to do them. Chill lang muna. But if I see something in me that has to be changed then I'll do my best to address that certain trait so I can be a better person not just for my sake but for the people I share my stark raving crazy little world with. The problem with the "New year's resolution kasi is that people only do it for the sake of doing it, for the sake of the damn tradition. I thinks it's stupid. I get the point that people want to change and start anew 'cos it's the new year pero, 'di ba nila kayang magbago pag hindi new year'? If that's the case, then alcoholics can't clean up their act 'til the next year pa? A burglar who had a sudden conscience attack during April will have to wait nine months 'till they can stop being poor excuses for human beings? That's just messed up. Anyway, this new year, I won't change anything 'cos I like what I do and who I am.........though I want to loose weight 'cos I feel like I ate a small country during the yuletide season but what the heck, I''l just find myself on a Happy Valley binge with my Older brother after a whole case of beer while watching the original version of GTO. Happy New year friends! APIR!
Crazy, how it, feels tonight.
Crazy, how you, make it all alright love.
You crush me, with the, things you do,
I do, for you, anything too oh.
Sitting, smoking, feeling high.
And in this, moment, ah, it feels so right.
Lovely lady, I am at your feet, oh, God I want you so badly.
And I wonder this could tomorrow be so wondrous as you there sleeping.
Lets go, drive til, the morning comes.
And watch the, sunrise, and fill our souls up.
Well drink some, wine til, we get drunk, yes...
Its crazy, I'm thinking, just knowing that the world is round.
I'm here I'm dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down, and is this real, or am I dreaming?
Lovely lady, let me drink you, please, I wont spill a, drop no, I promise you.
Lying under this spell you cast on me.
Each moment the more, i, love, you. crush me, come on. oh, yes.
Its crazy I'm thinking, just knowing that the world is round.
I'm here I'm dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down?
Is this real, oh lord, or am I dreaming?
Lovely lady, I will treat you sweetly, adore you, I mean, you crush me.
Oh its times like these when my faith I feel.
I know, how, i, love, you. come on, come on, baby.
Its crazy, I'm thinking just as long as you're around.
I'm here Ill be dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down?
To each other, well be facing.
My love, my love, well beat back the pain we've found.
You know, I mean to tell you all the things Ive been thinking, deep inside my
Friend.
With each moment the more I love you. crush me, come on, baby.
So much you have, given love, that I would give you back again and again.
Oh, the love, many now hold you but please, please, just let me, always
-
A new phone (Moto Q, N95 *8G* or a Blackberry) -
A new car (Nissan Silvia S14 or a Toyota MR2) or.. a new engine for my car (SkylineRB20 or a Silvia SR20) -
iPod ung black na 80G:p -
A Gibson SG... preferably white:) -
Claudio Sanchez' book, Good Apollo: I'm Burning Star IV -
Golf shoes -
Golf Clubs -
World peace! Friends...thank you in advance! :) hehe!
Lately I've been thinking 'bout the stupid things I did last year and there was this one thing that got stuck in my head...just when I was about to forget about it. Hassle 'to. If only I was patient enough...Or if only I didn't try too hard. Well worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum...so I have to do something.... I want to do something... But I can't. All i can do now is to wait and see where time will take me.
This afternoon, my brother, kuya Mitch asked me if I wanted to go to the driving range with him and Seo to work on our golf swing. I have to say that I'm really HOOKED to golf now cos of what my kuya said! I overheard Kuya saying something to Seo that really boosted my morale and motivated me to try to get better...He said "pare may potential sa golf 'tong bugoy na 'to". Because of this, I'm now thinking about buying my own golf stuff. (as if I have the money) That line gave me lots of confidence and a new view towards golf. It's funny how simple things like that can change your whole point of view on a certain subject. Come to think of it... I now approach certain things differently 'cos of my brother... Like my attitude towards school and the all the bullshit that comes with the system. Kuya once said that school is like a really big daycare center para lang may mapaglagyan yung mga bata pero at the same time tinuturuan din sila ng kung anu anong mga bagay na very trivial and then halos lahat naman ng tinuturo nila hindi naman maa-apply sa buhay pag tanda but still important. So I realized that school is just a big formality...The idea behind the whole system is that it is just meant to teach us different values and traits that will prove to be useful as well go along with our lives like the importance of hard work, persistence, patience and all that jazz. Grades are only meant to make a person work harder and to avoid mediocrity. Pang motivate lang. You can't train a dog with out treats to motivate them, right? Para lang tayong tine-train. So yun lang pala talaga ang silbi ng school. So now... I don't get why they treat us like puppets on strings kung ganon lang pala...of course they have authority over us and we have to respect that. It's just that there are certain rules like the dress code and the shit that deals with the way we look and what not...what the hell are these rules for?! I mean, so what if a guy wears earrings or has long hair or wears tattered pants? Does it make him less of a person? Does it make him perform poorly in class compared to others. I don't thinks so. So para saan pa 'tong mga walang kwentang rules na 'to? Power trip? Look at some of the best schools in our country like UP and La Salle. People there can go to their classes wearing shorts and flip flops for all they care and the admin. won't give a shit about it. But still the standards of the school doesn't change, the name of the school doesn't get affected, right? So bakit ginagawang big deal ng admin ng Beda 'to? Why did they have to thrash the Magna Carta? Why did they make the freshmen wear those freaking painfully ugly uniforms? Bwiset talaga ung bagong admin ng Beda. mga GAGO! I really don't get it and I just hope that someone will do some thing about this.
I have to get my tattoo fixed! But I'm flat broke! I also want to get another tattoo of 3 Japanese characters (God, Family, Friends) Why you ask? :p I think that these three are all we need to get by, to get through life... this will cost me a fortune though. So if you have a kind heart, donate lang kayo sakin. Di naman ako mahiyain eh:p
It's 3:15 in the morning. My freaking head hurts, I'm kinda hungry and I'm hella bored...So i decided to make a goddam multiply account.
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